Love, Fear, and Becoming Your Own Best Friend

What is better than feeling loved? Love brings you into full connection with the beauty of life.

I have great news! There is no need to wait -- you can have the experience of love right now!

What does love feel like to you on the inside? For me, feeling love comes with relaxation and an easy affinity for what is right now. When I feel love, there is an indescribable sense of warmth and wellbeing. You may feel love for a person, place, or thing, or you may summon the experience of love spontaneously within your Self. To love is to be intimately in tune with the inherent goodness of life, and it is encouraged by curiosity and an openness to receive.

On the other end of the spectrum is the feeling of fear. As we move through the challenges of life, it is easy to slip into a fearful place. My greatest fear is losing the ones I love, and this past year, I came face-to-face with the possibility of losing my closest loved ones. Such experiences inevitably, even biologically, cause a fear response, but once the immediacy of the fear bomb settles, how do you move forward? What do you do when fear reappears unexpectedly? I’d suggest: Be curious! See the possibility that this fear could be compost to fertilize new growth in your life.

Learning what you need to know from an unpleasant feeling or experience is not easy. In these situations, self-inquiry can be a transformative part of your life. You might notice that when your communication with your Self becomes more clear, your relationships with others become easier, more harmonious, and calmer.

Here are two practices to strengthen your relationship with You.

1. The Best Friend Visualization: Think of your fear like it's your best friend freaking out! When you listen to your friend, when you watch your friend's body language, when you give your friend the gift of your attention, your very presence is loving, kind, and compassionate. Your presence is a super-powered healing agent. Treat yourself, your feelings, and your fear like your best friend. Your attention and your curiosity are your two greatest allies in evolving your relationship with YOU.

2. Q & A Journaling: Another awesome Self-inquiry practice that I LOVE doing is Question & Answer. In your Yoga book, journal, or on a piece of paper, begin your Q & A. Ask, "What do I need to know about my fear of _______?" Pause mentally, and sense what the answer is. Write down what is coming to you even if you think you are making up the answer. Go one step further, and write the question with your dominant hand, and write the answer with your non-dominant hand. Practice not arguing with yourself, and instead follow your stream of consciousness. Allow each answer to then inform your next question. Your objective is to gain clarity about what your fear is communicating to you—what you need to know to feel clear, at peace, or at least more calm and stable.

Self-inquiry, is Self-empowerment. Befriending your Self is an expression of self-love, loving-kindness, and compassion. It feels really good to tune in to your needs as they arise. Be inspired by your life, feel loved, and be grounded, as you become clearer and in communication with YOU! The relationship with your Self is the best friendship you have been searching for your whole life.